Purim a.k.a. The Story of Esther

Hello my dawlinks!  I was in the kitchen for several hours today making Hamantashen for the neighborhood since Purim is this weekend and it occured to me that my mishpokhe (family) on here (that would be you) might not know about things such as Purim or Hamantashen or why we celebrate this holiday. 

Far be it for me to assume you know everything so I'll explain it to you.  First, go to the kitchen and grab a snack and something to drink; then get your blanket and a comfortable pillow; we're going to be here for a bit.  Trust me, it's worth your time.  You'll like it.  Before we begin there are a few rules you need to follow.  When you read the name Haman you are to yell "BOO!" or "HISS".  When you see the name Esther, you say, "You Go Girl!"  When you read Mordechai, you say, "You da man!"

In the Megillat Esther (The Book of Esther) the Jewish people were in exile in Babylon for some reason (we're always making someone angry about something) King Ahashverosh (say like a sneeze, it's much easier that way) wanting to display his great wealth and power, decided to have a feast.  At the same time Queen Vashti initiated a celebration for the women of the realm.  On the seventh day the King, being drunk out of his mind summoned Vashti and ordered her to demonstrate her beauty for for the King's officials. 

Vashti refused to put herself on display and was struck down, it is said in the Talmud (one of our Books) by G-d with leprosy which caused her downfall and Esther's (You go girl) rise.  Incensed, the King sought the adivce of his officers for a suitable punishment and one advisor, Memuchan, who was actually Haman (BOO!) argued that Vashti should be killed for her disobedience and the King followed his advice.  Evidently the King wasn't too bright.

So you know how it goes, time passes and the King regretted his action on Vashti and wanted to remarry.  This time he followed a servant's advice and held a contest (I'm telling you, this guy didn't have a brain in his head!) for all the eligible women in his kingdom.  And guess who was in his kingdom?  You got it!  Esther!  (You go girl!) But she did NOT tell anyone she was Jewish or that she was raised by Mordechai (You da man) upon her parents' death.  Oh, did I tell you that servant that adviced the King was Mordechai?  My bad.  Soon Esther had impressed everyone including the King and taken as the Queen in Vashti's place. Wait, conflict is coming.

A few years went by and Haman (BOO!), who was a descendent of Amalek, the traditional enemy of the Jews, was elevated to a position above all other officials. Everyone had to bow down before him, and they did except Mordechai (You da man!).  He refused to bow because according to Midrash (another one of our books) there is no bowing before idols which Haman (BOO!) wore around his neck.   Haman (BOO!)  wouldn't be content with just punishing Mordechai (You da man) but wanted to destroy the entire Jewish people and he cast lots to determine the day of annihilation.  Now why are people always looking to wipe us off the face of the earth?

Esther (You go girl!) sent a messenger to Mordechai (You da man!) to find out what was going on and upon finding out she sent a message back to him instructing that all Jews perform a three day fast on her behalf while she goes before the King.  Esther (You go girl!) invited the King and Haman (BOO!) to a banquet.  At the feast they were both invited back for the next night and Haman (HISS!) left full of importance and pride but these feelings were transformed into anger when he saw Mordechai (You da man!).  Upon returning home, Haman's (HISS!) wife instructed him to build a gallows fifty cubits high to hang Mordechai (You da man!) and Haman (HISS!) joyously acted upon the suggestion.

The part I had forgotten to tell you was that Mordechai had thwarted an assassination attempt on the King.  The evening the King could not sleep he ordered his servants to read from the book of chronicles, whereupon Ahashverosh discovered that Mordechai (You da man!) had never been rewarded for saving him from the assassination plot of two servants. 

Haman (HISS!), appeared in the court, and the King decided that his trusted servant should determine Mordechai's (You da man!) compensation.  Haman (HISS!) intending to obtain the King's permission to hang Mordechai (You da man!) unwittingly answered the King's questions.  The King asked Haman (HISS!) "What should be done for the man the King wishes to reward?"

Haman (BOO!), believing that Ahashverosh intended to reward him, replied that the honoree should be dressed in royal clothing, ride upon a royal horse, and be led through the city streets by a government official proclaiming, "This is what is done to the man the King wishes to honor."  Ahashverosh agreed and instructed Haman (BOO!) to carry it out for Mordechai (You da man!). 

Crestfallen, Haman followed the King's orders.  While leading Mordechai (You da man!) around on the horse, garbage was thrown on Haman (BOO!) by his own daughter who had mistaken him for Mordechai (You da man!)  Haman (BOO!) was whisked away to Esther (You go girl!) second banquet where his downfall continued.Speaking poetically, Esther (You go girl!)asked the King to "grant me my soul and my people," and she revealed Hamdn's (BOO!) villainous plot.  Consumed with anger, Ahashverosh ordered that Haman (HISS!) be  hanged on th gallows intended Mordechai (You da man!).  Thereupon, the King elevated Mordechai (You da man!) to a position of great influence and allowed him to issue edicts permitting the Jews to fight their enemies. 

And that, bubbelehs, is the story of Purim.  Believe it or not, THAT'S the short version!  The part I didn't tell you about is that when we read the Megillat it is required we drink every time we read a name.  By the time we're done, everyone is shiker (drunk).  This is the one time I'm not going to tell you that it couldn't hurt.  This time it might! 

What I am going to tell you, however, is that I'm going to put the recipe for Hamantashen in the recipe area in case you want to make it.  Now THAT couldn't hurt! 

Your

Yenta