Lessons of History Include Crying

The sorrow which has no vent in tears may make other organs weep. 

                                                                                          ~ Henry Maudsley

Such a lot people go through from time to time.  Just yesterday someone half my age said that 'everyone has a story -- everyone has done amazing things, come through amazingly hard things from time to time'.  It was good to see someone so young be so wise.  

I'm certain that Ellen has quite the advantage by having Yenta as her friend and companion.  I understand that Ellen's mother enjoyed Yenta very much as well, and it's truly my honor to have provided a platform through Lumigrate for her to enjoy the talents of Yenta's amazing writing.  

Glad you're back from your travels, Yenta.  I took a photograph of something that I think might be nice for Ellen.  I don't know if you have Bed Bath and Beyond where you are there in Ubiquitous, Florida, but I saw this and got out your Peace Fleece and had the store manager take my photograph.  We did some hands on, in person education about fibromyalgia right there in the store. It turns out one of the workers has a family member who is very young who she was concerned about doing things to her body, mind, spirit that might be showing up as being on the path to chronic illness.  We essentially had a wellness intervention!

I would guess, Yenta, you have all the furnishings you'll ever need and JUST the way you want them -- I do, and I'm a generation younger than you are!  But Ellen with this new horizons ahead might enjoy these tables that are just for this season at Bed Bath and Beyond for going to college!  They have a whole check sheet they can go over and the kid / parents can just go through like you would a bridal registry or baby registry and pick what they want and then they travel to school and pick it up at the store where the college is (providing there is one).  For future reference, they also ship for a flat rate based on price .. this $20 table would be about $7 or 8 apparently.  Nice for gift giving and makes it easy on the elders who are giving if it's done that way.  I know, I know, it's not a 'thrift store' but $20 for a neat table is 'thrifty'.  No?

My regular 'therapy' is to watch the sun set, enjoy the quiet of the evening, reflect upon what has gone on in the day and be grateful for being able to BREATHE.  Tonight it was with the lovely summer evening's air with the breeze and let it wash the cares of my day away.  There are fewer cares on my mind hearing from you that Ellen's doing well, it feels like we're family so I was concerned.  

I did have a therapeutic cry earlier this week when someone who was a G-d send to me a while back was clearly ready to go on to other teachers.  Being concerned for that vulnerable transition period, when I heard who was on the horizon for this person -- which was totally out of my 'control' -- I was so relieved and amazed at who that was going to be 'there to go from here', it caught me off guard.  It's someone I consider amazing and who could be a wonderful influence and relationship for this person 'on the way back up out of the drain'.

I was stoic in the past, raised in a family where crying was maybe tolerated but not really 'acceptable'.  My first reaction was to retreat to privacy, and I had this 'blast from the past' related to the 'crying closet' the originator of occupational therapy had in order to deal with the stresses she had working with World War I /soldiers.  But then I caught myself because I have recently challenged myself to show as much bravery as the people I am working with whether on Lumigrate in writing or in real-life sessions.  So I grabbed a tissue and headed back to explain why I had become emotional over something 'mundane' to another.  I think it was appreciated, and in effect that person saw me working on my 'stuff' too.  I hope that had some lasting meaning.  I believe it will. 

I've 'allowed' myself to cry for the last two years, due to the help of an amazing healer and wise woman who in one session released the closedness I had around my heart which had developed there as self protection in my formative years when I didn't have the tools to deal with the situations presenting themselves to my young self.

Thank you for the history lesson -- my mother taught me that by learning history it gives you an advantage for knowing how to proceed from where we are NOW.  ~~ Mardy

Mardy dawlink,

A wiser woman I don't think there is, bubeleh.  Just so you know, and there aren't too many people that equate this due to the after effect, but with crying comes physical cleansing as well as emotional.  The sinus' get cleared out, the lungs get exercised as does the diaphragm, and for people like me, a zaftig (well rounded) woman, it's an all-over shake, rattle and roll stimulation!  Of course, we look awful before, during and after a good cry but we don't look so wonderful giving birth either and there's an amazing result at the end of that too.

If you want to know more about that specific history (which I don't push but do encourage) there is a documentary I recommend called A Film Unfinished.  It's rather graphic, liebling, so be prepared.  Also a book I just finished called The Lucky Child, by Thomas Buergenthal - very interesting man.

Your picture with the table is "fabulous" as Ellen would say and yes, she would adore that.  Her new apartment is a work in progress.  Thrift, my dawlink, is where you can find it so if it happens to be in a regular retail store (never pay retail if you can help it) then khapn (grab) while you can.  Ellen is very specific which thrift stores she goes to; Humane Society, Safespace, Hospice, Martin Memorial Hospital, and the one that supports Habitat for Humanity... she's very pro-active that way.  I will say, however, we both really like the table you're next to and will schlepp our cookies to BB&B to see if they have it here.

Now, onto other things, bubeleh.  I'm very happy to hear you have such good people surrounding you.  I often worry you're working too hard, don't have enough support, are you eating, getting enough rest, taking care of yourself as you should?  I worry about all my kindeleh this way.  This is what a Bubbe does.

My dawlinks, I don't write these things just to write.  I write them so perhaps you might learn a little something, get a little story, a piece of history, perhaps some knowledge (albeit your Yenta's version) but it's a start.  For you, my lieblings, are my kindeleh (children), my eynikl (grandchildren), khevre (gang of friends), my shvester (sister), and bruder (brother) and so much more. 

Now, go live your life today and enjoy it to the fullest.  Take your breaks as you need them of course but remember what your Yenta has told you... we are all part of one another; learn, laugh, love and enjoy!  It couldn't hurt!

Your

Yenta

 Thanks, Bubbe/Yenta -- I appreciate your concern; I'm the first to admit I'm tired, but it's been three years of non-stop getting Lumigrate to where it is and I believe at a spiritual level that it is 'my life's work'.  I don't believe in 'being called', as I believe in having volunteered and coordinated this in the past and picked the situations, the people, and the experiences that I've had since my soul began this life.  Therefore, I trust that I'll have the experiences today and tomorrow that are what I need to have at the time in order to do what is right for the people Lumigrate serves.  Having had a setback in the last year or so, which is turning around now, I'm happy to say, was really very helpful to my 'seeing the bigger picture'.  Having a conversation begin today when a tourist started asking questions about the area which also drew in someone who works with a large organization likely was my tap on the shoulder of what to put to the top of the list.  The used book store I went into who had cards of the Ayur Vedic practitioner I'd been wanting to figure out how to get ahold of was another.  Things like that happen increasingly lately, making my work easier, Yenta.  

I bet they'll all enjoy having this area of Lumigrate to enjoy!  Thank you again so much, and I'm glad Ellen approves of my decorating ideas!  It's Lumigrate purple for SURE!  ~~ Mardy

Hi Everyone -

In reading Yenta's story it brought up some interesting information I have also experienced regarding tears. Tears release chemicals that allow the body to heal. If you were brought up being told it is not ok to cry, especially males, it is time to let go.

I have experienced grown men giving themselves permission to cry. Men who have held their pain inside for years. It was life changing; addictions were gone and their bodies could heal. The pain we humans experience if not expressed along with a good cry remains in the body as poison.

Ask yourself how much poison are you storing in your body. Is it time to let go.

Have a great weekend.

Judi Larson

 Judi, you wrote this response the day before Father's Day so I'm going to stick to the Tool analogy I had, above; you're not only a tool for people, I think you're a whole tool kit! I'm so very appreciative of your coming to grace the pages of Lumigrate's forums and offer your advise for ALL to read and I have peace of mind knowing you're a resource for people from 'all over' to access via your coaching and counseling website.  It's a pleasure -- Thank you!

Mardy