When you think of the word "soul", what comes to mind for you? I share my humble thoughts regarding this word. If it speaks to you, wonderful; if not, that is fine too.
Soul, to me, is the energy at the core of my being that I chose to nurture, invest in and honor. Soul is my connection to the source of all life; creator. My soul is my gift to the world molded by God.
Writing this and reflecting back on my life, I have come to realize that God had a plan and a purpose for my life. I was born to parents who where alcoholics; abuse and fear were the daily energy. I now see why I was strong-willed and stubborn and had my own agenda and purpose for my life. It did not include God.
Being raised in energy of fear, where I did not feel safe or loved this young child went into survival mode to exist. Did you ever tell yourself the only way you could survive was to place trust in yourself and no one else? Reading this, can you relate?
Unknown to the child at the time, trusting in herself created a world of darkness, suffering, and torment. She learned feelings were not something she was allowed -- they brought pain and sorrow. By the time she reached adolescence, her soul had been broken into pieces. She was existing, not living. She developed an eating disorder attempting to get rid of her pain. Anyone reading this relate?
She also became a people pleaser. She started telling herself the only way she would survive was to please people. Someone would then find some good in her and love her. She came to a place in her life where people-pleasing was not the answer she was looking for. Her soul was starting to die. She became severely depressed. By the late part of her thirties her soul was murdered. She did not realize at the time her soul was murdered as a young child when she was abused. Does this resemble your childhood?
By now she was having thoughts of suicide. Her depression became so bad she started sleeping eighteen hours a day and her life began to crumble.
It was at this time in her life a couple from her church walked up to her and told her their concern for her. For some odd reason she felt safe around these people. Not safe enough to trust what they really wanted from her however. At the age of thirty seven she decided it was time for life to be over for her. She went to bed hoping she would not wake up in the morning.
As you have already figured out she did not die. She gave up, telling herself she could no longer live with the torment anymore. What she came to realize was that day what had died was the 'false self' she had created to live for her family, in order to find her 'true self'.
Remember earlier I told you that God had a plan and purpose for your life? The day of her surrender she told herself she had nothing to lose. She told herself "if there is a God, let's see what he has to offer!"
It took her time to trust creator, she was angry at him/it for the life she had been given. Over time her soul began to mend. She was able to gain hope, and her life today is something she would not have believed possible.
This is a list of different problems women were suffering with when we met up, and I have helped them with:
Remember earlier I asked you what "soul" means to you? Ask yourself "what condition is my soul in today?" If it is not full of life/"aliveness", happiness, and contentment, maybe it is time to find out the reason.
When I choose to create an inner life for myself that was healthy, safe and nurturing, I began to feel loved, joyful, content and fulfilled, and for this I will continue to be grateful.
Judi Larson loves living in Palisade, Colorado on the east end of the Grand Valley of Western Colorado. Her formal education includes what is reflected in the 'initials' after her name: Bachelor of Arts in Social Work, Certified Addiction Counselor - III, and Certified Life Coach. Respectful that education is much more from life, she believes "The best education I have received taught me 'To Thine Self Be True' and 'Nature is my friend', which is represented at her website if you follow the link to http://thesimpletruthcoachingandcounseling.com/ [1]
Links:
[1] http://thesimpletruthcoachingandcounseling.com/
[2] http://www.lumigrate.com/forum/surrendering-find-soul-source-and-success-living#comment-1272
[3] http://twitter.com/lumigrate
[4] http://www.lumigrate.com/forum/surrendering-find-soul-source-and-success-living#top
[5] http://www.lumigrate.com/user/login?destination=node/798%23comment-form
[6] http://www.lumigrate.com/user/register?destination=node/798%23comment-form
[7] http://www.lumigrate.com/forum/surrendering-find-soul-source-and-success-living#comment-1273
[8] http://www.lumigrate.com/forum/lessons-history-include-crying
Comments
Judi, this exudes sincerity and humility, and I thank you so very much for sharing with the readers at Lumigrate, as I believe it will touch many.
I appreciate that you, as a therapist, share your 'herstory' as well -- I do the same thing and the risk you run with that is that people who aren't wanting to look at their own 'stuff' deflect it back on you and say that you're needing therapy, and don't understand that you've already done 'that work' and are using it as an example for others to related to, hopefully to grab onto the rope you are offering to lead them to the information and provider/therapist which might be the 'right fit' for them!
In having the forums area that are open for people to post topics, I encouraged people to write their stories about their medical history and all that goes along with it because I believe you need to get it out, be able to refer to it, but it's going to keep you 'stuck' if you keep repeating it over and over. Facebook was 'taking off' in popularity with the middle-aged group of women who have chronic pain, fatigue, fibromyalgia, as this tends to be something that our bodies don't give into until they've had 'enough', which used to be middle age (the statistics are staggering for how that is shifting to be much younger, however. So Lumigrate launched at a time there weren't a lot of places yet for them to write, and we got amazing pieces contributed that first 'season'. I read what other people wrote and made a commitment to be as candid as I felt appropriate just as they were being. So you are in good company here! And again, thank you for that, truly.
This is also a good example of how we all are, as I say, 'where we are'. Some people aren't going anywhere, it's like they are treading water, or worse, sinking and drowning. Some are doing the dog paddle or whatever stroke they know how to do, others are swimming along and have learned a lot of different strokes to not tire as easily, as life is really challenging these days.
Everyone understands how sweaters or scarves unravel and most understand knitting enough for the analogy of grabbing the problematic snag you're aware of and begin the unraveling. You unravel and wind the yarn back up into a ball (meaning you're without the sweater and it might feel a bit 'exposed' to you, until you get back to where you can start knitting things back together. And this time it is solely YOU, with the help of your team (which can include books, websites, friends in addition to the providers represented on the Lumigrate "You Model"), which knits the fabric of your life.
I'm also curious what your perspective is on the traditional view of mental health experts that non-physical forms of abuse can be as damaging as physical. And 'spanking' always comes up in that discussion, so if you (and others) can include that, it would be really helpful clarification. (And are there some things that for one situation are okay and others not so much?
I intend and believe that by sharing through the platform I've been given, as you say, and that includes in the collaborative network of providers like you and many others now at Lumigrate, it's going to help this Earth that we're on and this is why we're on it right now, Judi! So glad you are joining us!
Live and Learn. Learn and Live Better! is my motto. I'm Mardy Ross, and I founded Lumigrate in 2008 after a career as an occupational therapist with a background in health education and environmental research program administration. Today I function as the desk clerk for short questions people have, as well as 'concierge' services offered for those who want a thorough exploration of their health history and direction to resources likely to progress their health according to their goals. Contact Us comes to me, so please do if you have questions or comments. Lumigrate is "Lighting the Path to Health and Well-Being" for increasing numbers of people. Follow us on social networking sites such as: Twitter: http://twitter.com/lumigrate [3] and Facebook. (There is my personal page and several Lumigrate pages. For those interested in "groovy" local education and networking for those uniquely talented LumiGRATE experts located in my own back yard, "LumiGRATE Groove of the Grand Valley" is a Facebook page to join. (Many who have joined are beyond our area but like to see the Groovy information! We not only have FUN, we are learning about other providers we can be referring patients to and 'wearing a groove' to each other's doors -- or websites/home offices!) By covering some of the things we do, including case examples, it reinforces the concepts at Lumigrate.com as well as making YOU feel that you're part of a community. Which you ARE at Lumigrate!
Judi provided a really nice comment about what goes on within the body related to tears and crying. She's also discussed with me privately something that I'd like to have a really good separate discussion with here on Lumigrate related to the toxins that will be in the body if a person doesn't work through things that stressful to their body/mind/spirit system.
Here's the link to the Crying piece from Yenta (and Judi's and my comments (and perhaps others if more come along to Comment). ~~ Mardy
www.lumigrate.com/forum/lessons-history-include-crying [8]
Live and Learn. Learn and Live Better! is my motto. I'm Mardy Ross, and I founded Lumigrate in 2008 after a career as an occupational therapist with a background in health education and environmental research program administration. Today I function as the desk clerk for short questions people have, as well as 'concierge' services offered for those who want a thorough exploration of their health history and direction to resources likely to progress their health according to their goals. Contact Us comes to me, so please do if you have questions or comments. Lumigrate is "Lighting the Path to Health and Well-Being" for increasing numbers of people. Follow us on social networking sites such as: Twitter: http://twitter.com/lumigrate [3] and Facebook. (There is my personal page and several Lumigrate pages. For those interested in "groovy" local education and networking for those uniquely talented LumiGRATE experts located in my own back yard, "LumiGRATE Groove of the Grand Valley" is a Facebook page to join. (Many who have joined are beyond our area but like to see the Groovy information! We not only have FUN, we are learning about other providers we can be referring patients to and 'wearing a groove' to each other's doors -- or websites/home offices!) By covering some of the things we do, including case examples, it reinforces the concepts at Lumigrate.com as well as making YOU feel that you're part of a community. Which you ARE at Lumigrate!