Yesterday I was blessed to have spent some time with my sister, my precious mother, and my niece.
We enjoy each others company and had a great time.
My sister asked if I had lost more weight and commented about my ever shrinking waist line. She lamented that while mine was getting smaller, hers was increasing. She is not happy with her weight gain, and I understand that completely. She said she needed to start eating better and she needed to start walking on her treadmill.
She shared that she eats chocolate kisses, chocolate candy bars and potato chips off and on all day. When I asked why she was eating that way she said: “Because I deserve it.” She said each time she eats chocolate she tells herself “I can have this because I deserve it. I deserve to eat whatever I want.”
I told her she “deserves” so much better than that. She “deserves” to eat food that is tasty but also healthy. I told her if I ate the way she is eating I would feel as if I were starving all the time. She said yes, that is exactly the way she feels, always hungry, never satisfied, and always going back for more snacks.
Recently my sister stayed with me for three weeks following my surgery and just loved the food my husband was cooking. She was really enjoying the grilled vegetables and meats, the fruit, the Southern style dishes and everything she ate. She said she hadn't eaten such good tasting food in years. My husband had cooked all kinds of good vegies and meats. She just loved everything he cooked and said she could not tell her husband how well she was eating. Among the dishes were rutabegas, turnips, sweet potatoes, peas, cabbage, collards, turnips, good Southern food. .
When she returned home she began to cook those things she had enjoyed here but got off track when her husband had surgery. Now she is going back to her old eating habits, eating some whole foods, but mostly prepared foods and of course, all that candy.
As we sat and discussed this situation she said you have to remember, I don't like to cook and my husband can't not cook anything. I suggested that she start eating raw fruit and raw vegetables for snack (no cooking there) instead of the candy. She promised me she would do that.
I asked her to start thinking differently about what she deserves. She deserves foods that taste good, that provide nutrients needed for the body to function properly, and exercise to release those beneficial endorphins that makes a body feel so good. That is what she really “deserves”. It is a matter of training the thought processes.
When she said the entire diet change was just overwhelming, I asked her to start with a few changes and add more as those became a part of her lifestyle.
Baby steps......Baby steps are easier to do and easier to maintain. Your way of life can change one step at a time. Sometimes that is the answer to developing new habits that become lifestyle changes.
What do you “deserve”? Do you deserve treats that will be ten seconds on the lips and ten years on the hips?, Or, do you deserve to eat good tasting, heathy whole foods that will be satisfying and will make you feel healthy, energetic and strong. It's your call.
Update: Today I called my sister to see if she had started her new eating plan. She said yes, she had. She cooked some vegetables for lunch and for snack had celery and fruit. However, she said there was one last chocolate bar left in the fridge so she ate that to get it out of the house! 
Alice Franklin was raised on a sandy beach in Point Clear, AL and lived along the Gulf Coast from Texas to Alabama in her youth, graduating from Fairhope High School on Mobile Bay. Prior to becoming disabled due to severe spine problems, she worked her way into management and purchasing positions in industrial manufacturing and art industries. She worked her way into Lumigrate unknowingly by impressively writing at Lent 2010 about utilizing her religious and spiritual beliefs with chronic pain/disease management (she has had fibromyalgia and chronic myofascial pain for decades); it turns out she holds the priesthood office of elder in her church and became active again in this office in May 2010 and has been pastor or copastor in previous churches. We are so very proud to have her words and thoughts gracing our 'pages' of this website and look forward to what the future holds for her.
Links:
[1] http://www.lumigrate.com/forum/because-i-deserve-it#comment-497
[2] http://www.lumigrate.com/forums/health-issuesdis-eases/fibromyalgia-chronic-pain-and-chronic-fatigueexhaustion/it-cant-hurt-o
[3] http://www.lumigrate.com/forum/because-i-deserve-it#top
[4] http://www.lumigrate.com/user/login?destination=node/334%23comment-form
[5] http://www.lumigrate.com/user/register?destination=node/334%23comment-form
Comments
Alice dawlink,
I have to tell you bubbeleh, I understand you both better than you think. Your sister can't just throw away the chocolate bar, that would be waste of money. Plus there are some benefits in chocolate. I don't know what they are but I'm told there are benefits.
I'm very lucky, Moishe does most of the cooking in our house and he's very happy to try new things with fresh veggies, fishes of all kinds, meats and poultry.
Personally, I'm a zaftig (well rounded) woman but I eat well and feel good. This obsession with being a twig doesn't necessarily mean healthy, remember that. Follow Alice's advice, eat properly, then perhaps you'll be healthier. Try it, it couldn't hurt!
Your
Yenta
Yenta Tellabenta is truly a 'creation' for outreach and education with Lumigrate.com through storytelling and reinforcement of key concepts related to body, mind, spirit. Written by a very talented and somewhat mysterious younger wise woman who found her way to Lumigrate the summer of 2009, we hope you enjoy having your own Yenta with us at Lumigrate! Yenta (meaning 'town gossip' or 'connector') has a dedicated Forum at Lumigrate at http://www.lumigrate.com/forums/health-issuesdis-eases/fibro... [2] and can also be found on facebook.