Good Grief! Our Dog O'Rio Was Big, Strong, and Beloved in His 15 and One Half Years!

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Mardy Ross's picture
Mardy Ross
Title: LumiGRATE Poster - Top of the Totem Pole
Joined: Feb 16 2009
Posts: 2032
User offline. Last seen 18 weeks 6 days ago.

"You gave him a good life", the first sympathy card said.  Placed in my entryway box, but sticking out so I'd see it, I was intrigued as to who had known, and responded so quickly. I'd not told many people, as I was initially going to tell personally, one on one, those who were closest to O'Rio and our journey. 

Those who had helped fund our first month of expenses for housing until I could get the time and connections to earn more funds, those who had housed us and were still connected, or who had become our newest friend and supporter when he chose their yard as his "destination" on relatively good days when he could walk that far. I started making the rounds when I felt strong.  By text, in person, by phone call.  

One day in December, as he rested in the yard of the newfound "solice place", a house I got a kick out of because it was swanky looking while also having humorous signs, watching the traffic go by, I thought I saw O'Rio shifting to understanding he was going to pass on at some point.

We eventually went back to the house we were staying at, working full time at that point with the host (meaning at least 6 hours most days), reducing excess, getting things cleaned up and organized inside the house since it was winter and the outside was completed in the fall.  Once inside, the host had a document in hand they'd found as we were out, a beautifully written piece from when their last dog, also large like O'Rio, was euthanized by the veterinarian in the home.  A "coincidence of providence", I call those.  So I knew since that day, we were on what I call "the home stretch".   

O'Rio had a lot of varying days last winter, spring, and summer.  He tore his right knee in February, loading into the car, and I suspect what got him in the end was the unloading out of the car on the last day of summer season and what turned out to be his last supported exit from his beloved Highlander, my car since 2007. I'd thought I only had a two hour "gig" transporting someone to a medical appointment, three with the commute and stopping for shopping after. So I'd taken him with me, since he so clearly wanted to go.  I knew we had covered parking at the facility he'd be parked at for about an hour.  

Up the steps I'd bought for him at a yard sale a few months ago but not needed until moving to this home, because I could easily back up to a curb where we had been staying.  The veterinarian had recommended a particular brand of harness and I'd been able to purchase one right away.  It was a life saver! Truly, literally. It was donated when they took his beautiful body away on the gurney to the hospital for the crematorium folks to come.  It was really nice to have the services available.  

That last day of "work", he enjoyed seeing the client, who I pushed in the transport wheelchair we use on outings  to the back of the car after the appointment. 

As they visited, I stood back and saw the care facility visiting area nearby operating for social distancing in action -- a loved one or friend standing back from a fence, wearing a mask, the patient with a care giver far back from the other side of the fence, also with masks on.  Talking. 

I felt good about the type of work I'm doing, and how O'Rio has helped me to be doing it.  When this client's family and I were connected last fall, they were making the rounds to the area assisted living facilities and heading in that direction, but nothing had "fit right" that they'd found.  I started by putting up the Christmas tree and docorating, and by spring everything was changing as I became the only person they saw, aside from a neighbor, for many weeks or months.  And O'Rio came most days, because I'd have to be there so long.  

This year their function is improved slightly, from a lot of proactivity on their part following up on suggestions I've made for nutrition, supplementation, and manual therapy providers, suggesting therapists on the team provide the transport wheelchair and get a better call alert system they now provide. 

As the health crisis from the virus shut down the providers and family, housekeeper, haircutter, I became the surrogate.  Jack of all trades, master of some, I'd joked.  In late spring I got to plant about a dozen geraniums, and help with spring cleanup.  I felt I was in my OT element helping the client work on the beloved plants, safely, with my expertise being used. 

They were not financially prepared short term for that much time to reimburse for help, so I'd bring O'Rio and give a free hour.  That had to stop when they couldn't resist feeding him treats EVERY time he'd ask, with those big brown eyes and white eyelashes that were visible to even the legally blind.  His urine was making spots in the green grass and if the house needed to be sold and look good, I didn't want to have a negative impact on that.  I'd sometimes bring O'Rio if only staying a short time, but the client was not inclined to go outside to the car to say hello, but always sent word with me to scritch him and say hello.  

In July the client regrouped financially by giving me a "vacation", just as I was getting on solid ground financially.  Fore-seeing the plan coming together for this housing to become my responsibliity in September by the former client who was exiting their rented home and wanted me to handle the cleaning up after a year absent with others living and partying hard in the home, I started seeing that asking for help to cover some of the costs initially was maybe the only option if I was to keep serving those I'm helping.

And then the client called and resumed in late July, so I only had three weeks before it was time to put my time into moving, cleaning up the place moving into. O'Rio had to go to the veterinarian the week before Labor Day, he had lost many pounds and had intestinal symptoms for weeks on and off, mostly on. 

Their budget is for 3x a week, 2 hours, but in reality they have been needing and using double that, at least, sometimes up to fifteen hours.  You supportive gifts of funds, if you can and do, will allow me to continue serving this client who has supported churches, nonprofits, and their family lifelong, and who now could use our support.  (see below for details)

The clients next appointment and outing I'll transport for is today, and it's to get acupuncture, which was newly intriguing to the client after seeing photos of O'Rio getting acupuncture.  "I wish I could go to his veterinarian" he had said in February, when we started going and seeing dramatic results.  So I have advocated with him on telephone appointments, essentially interpreting and helping hear the information that's missed due to being hard of hearing with cognitive and memory glitches too. 

And it's entirely possible they'll be able to stay in the home through fall and winter, and hopefully when a facility is needed, there won't be so many restrictions on visitation.  It's hard for everyone, almost impossible for those who need to read lips or don't hear well with the "muffle from the muzzle" . Not that I'm opposed to mask wearing entirely, I just really feel for people who have communication difficulties as it is.  O'Rio rarely saw me with a mask on, but he'd look at me like he was not very comfortable with it.  

We'd suffered through a long, hot summer, we'd had the biggest fire in Colorado history burning the month we moved to our own home, I was having nosebleeds from the increased heart rate I had, bending to pull on his butt harness and help him up or get a box or item from the ground.  We were finally to the lovely fall weather, the easy season, and just like that, he was no more. 

The leaves had not started falling from the tree out front, where he'd been doing his bathroom business, mostly, since we moved in, but there was a lovely sprinkling the first time I opened the door after the veterinary staff had gone with his body, which would be cremated. 

I'd opted to do the communal where you don't get anything back but the footprint they make, which I'm sharing here.  What a beautiful job they did, the detail and quality was really beautiful, and the "birthday girl" gave me the lovely fall arrangements.    

And now, a week later, I've not found leaves out front again.  Maybe I look for "signs", or maybe I "notice" what is provided. Either way, it comforts me.  Soon, most all the beautiful leaves will turn colors, or dry up and fall back to the Earth.  Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, and leaves to soil. 

Snow will come, and bring more leaves (and branches) down to the ground.  And I won't have to be helping O'Rio outside, to get up if he falls, and back into the house, like I had the last fall, winter, spring, and summer.  He's with the stars now, as the card left on my porch so beautifully said.    

I had to keep moving along with what I had on my proverbial plate, and wanted to not get stuck in grief. I wanted "good grief".  Three years before, in the kitchen of his home for the major portion of his long life, where he'd had a lot of people love him while they lived there, care for him in the absence of the family of origin as one by one they left for new adventures as they grew and went on their way, the moment finally came that it was right for me to offer to take O'Rio and be his official human.  And from somewhere, it came through me to add "and when it gets to end of life, he can help me teach that too ..... ".  

At that time, I was helping an upstarting products maker on the East Coast with a variety of things from editing to social media group member selection, and she appreciated a poop picture I sent her almost immediately after a great example came from him. She began providing products to try, both for O'Rio and for me.  He inspired her to create a line of pet "solutions", and I found my smile brighter after using her "mouthpaste" as I called it.  This was a photo we used for shampoo and toothpaste validation, which came about from a friend from way back posting a similar selfie with her similar dog.  I initially messaged her privately and she embellished it and sent it back as follows (it was the last days of summer 2017):        

On Memorial Day 2017 our world would change when I began really learning and melding in the information I can relay from the cutting edge doctor in Germany, and applying what he teaches to the home environments we lived in.  I applied it to our new home, and O'Rio I'm certain would not have lived to the age he did without the information I was applying to his benefit.  The products we used from the maker became fully good for us due to her willingness to read or hear what I had to say, and then its the ripple effect as her products reach many, many others. 

And none of it would have happened had it not been for O'Rio! 

How was it I came to connect with O'Rio?  That I'll save for later. I will add on as things unfold.  

In thinking about it, I was just becoming friends with the half of the couple that got the card to me so quickly in the winter of 2005 when O'Rio was born. He'd become mine, officially, in the fall of 2017, but I'd started out being his live in caretaker as "Mardy PopIns" starting with the summer in 2015. 

So O'Rio hadn't been to their home (and yard) until two years ago when I was to watch over the place and water, water water, in the summer heat -- beautiful gardens with a sunken water feature, with lillies.  He didn't know anything about water like that, he was used to his irrigation pond at his old home, or the shorelines I'd taken him to of rivers or old quarries. 

SPLASH, he was in over his head, requiring rescue by the man of the house.  "That's a heavy dog", he said.  

One home host we stayed with hadn't met O'Rio nor heard from me in years, but I'd gotten lucky calling just after Christmas 2017 when O'Rio and I needed housing, and the host needed help due to working out of town and family pitching in to work in animal care after work.  When they returned on New Years eve and come to say hello, they just kept looking at him on the floor saying "that is such a big dog!".  Their dog and O'Rio were of similar breed and got along well.

One day I had them both in my car and their dog was up front on the passenger seat as always, pink tongue panting away and passers by were concerned about the hot dogs in the car (it wasn't that hot, they were in the shade of a tree, the windows were open enough to let breeze through but keep the younger dog from getting out.)

I was in the locally owned pet supply store and not looking out the window to see an officer who was contacted by the concerned citizens walking them to the holding pen outside the station.  I returned to a business card on my windshield "we have your dogs at the station".  Oh how I wished I'd taken the time to get a photo of them there.  "I'm going to call the ladies that were concerned and tell them you're a good, responsible dog person" he said after they were back in my car.  We lived at that place when we needed for a full year, and thankfully were taken in on Christmas eve 2017 for what was supposed to be through New Years holiday season by my then-client who has now exited and the leased home became mine. 

Their family plans changed for after New Years, however, and off we needed to go.  As I sat nervously wondering what would be next steps as the ball was about to drop on the East Coast for New Years, I answered the question "what are you going to do" with "it always works out, you have to trust in the process and go with the flow" and JUST THEN my phone started ringing.  And that person invited me to come stay at their home in Denver. 

However the next day they weren't ready so I had to find someone for one day, and got to help a great friend of ours who had housed us for a fun time in Keystone in summer 2016, their Boulder home and dog needed what I could do to help.  I had to load and unload my car of O'Rios and my stuff several times in a three day period and was totally exhausted and realizing I couldn't keep this Mardy PopIns stuff up much longer, no matter how cool it was as a concept.  But it made me stronger, and O'Rio too.  He had spent his first 10 years at the same house and then went to over a dozen with me, a hotel, a condo, an AirBnB where we were the hosts for the guests.  

"He was a strong dog", the veterinarian said after O'Rio had passed.  I am so grateful that the veterinarian who had most recently helped him on over a handfull of sessions since February, who knew things that kept his body able enough to get around and enjoy life a bit longer.  The technicians were all wonderful, as well as staff doing that administration up front. We went through the virus restrictions together, and curbside pickup was the joke I made. 

The vet thankfully was working on the day O'Rio's body couldn't be helped any more. He was working that first day of fall, had time mid-day (meaning gave up a lunch break, I'd imagine) and was so very thorough and sincere.  I'd shared when they arrived that my dad always handled our many dogs and cats euthanizations and burials in our pet cemetary on the property, so I'd only had the cat in 2013 to euthanize, then figure out what to do with the body.  The cremains became part of my spiritual journey, so I did right in having them returned in her case, in O'Rio's I'd felt it best to not.  Maybe because I wanted the experience both ways for my future experience with others.  Or maybe because for his case it was just right and I got the message. 

Though perhaps another person would have wanted them to transport, intervene again and see if they could get him back to having useful legs and proper bladder and bowel functioning, I felt that O'Rio had "maximized" and from then on it wouldn't be much fun even if something did help some. 

He had just enjoyed his 15 and one half birthday, eating stew beef on the very spot where his life came to an end just three weeks later. It would be an ordeal for him to try anything, and to what end?  I'm grateful to every provider who ever helped with him in the five years and three months we shared. 

In the winter of 2018, I was able to get two sessions with a leader in veterinary chiropractic medicine in Colorado by taking O'Rio to Denver for six weeks, then up to Greeley for a patented form of veterinary medicine.  I'd learn a lot of lessons, some good, some hard knocks, on that one. Truly, if you ever had a hand in any way, I give you a hand and my thanks.  

I simply learned, and therefore taught, different information because of "Our Dog O'Rio".   Knowing that I was going to, someday, need to continue on with the story, the teaching, and he'd be passed, I reached out to a Front Range artist who agreed to provide a miniature sculpture of him, though it was his first time doing a dog. He entered it in a contest before it made its journey over the Rockies, hand carried the whole way, relay style, by my friends (and supporters in their own right).  It arrived into my hands, for him to sniff, just two years ago. Again, thank you, friends!         

And to those who are able to, or have already, supported my newly increased housing costs, or will do so at this time, thank you.  Or thanks again if you're giving again.  If you're not able to, but wish you could, that's appreciated as well.  It was a gift to provide a home of our own for even the short time, and now it's an efficient place for me to get regrouped and get busier again with what will lead to self sufficiency, sooner than later.  

I'm a fan of transparency; rent is just over $1,000 a month, the utilities will be about $250 on average, and so that's what I'm looking to raise via gifts so that I might continue being able to serve the clients I have as I do, and then also have time to usher Lumigrate along and have it remain free and by giving in trade for appreciating it's being provided by me since 2008.  I'm earning enough at this time to pay my other expenses (thankfully).  

I am findable on Pay Pal, Venmo, and Zelle using my cell phone number which is area code 970, then prefix 462 and last four are 8662.  (Have to break it up like that so no robos get the number, ugh).

I'm wanting to give people "aliases" and give credit to them in groupings, without $ values attached.  September, for instance, was taken care of by 5 individuals, yet to have aliases or a group name.  I'd do similarly for October, and so on.  

I have a mailbox at a mail suites place near Old Chicago in Grand Junction, the address is

202 North Avenue #177, Grand Junction, CO 81501 (A surprising number of people who helped in September wanted to mail checks).  

I welcome calls and texts, that is a cellular phone, above, and notes, letters and cards. 

The email I'm using for this at this time is mardy.poppins at yahoo dot com.  I'm in the process of changing over to the actual spelling of PopIns in email, but that messes up e-commerce stuff so will have to do that another time.  If I continue as Mardy PopIns, it's rather up in the air now.

I reflect on my young adult years working for the State, buying my first house at 26, or big medical companies such as I did after 1996 as a registered occupational therapist, and I would welcome the regularity of pay and benefits at this point.  Who knows what will come as I venture out, I'm not able to wear a mask long, I cannot get vaccines due to my genetics, and I try to keep my exposure risk low so I can continue to serve the clients I serve.  A veteran.  A single parent with a dog and a home and a small business (with a good mentor, who is my friend who left the card).

I know whatever I do, my life is changed because of O'Rio Grande, and to a lesser extent, so may yours.  If even from knowing of him "virtually".  I'm glad you have.  

GRATE-FULLY, Mardy 

(signing off initially when writing this topic at 11:35 a.m on Tuesday Sept 29, exactly a week after I said with the door open and hearing the truck pulling into the driveway "O'Rio, your friends from (the vet clinic) are here! and he looked up to see the familiar faces (and masks) of those who he had come to know helped him.  And they helped one last time.  Beautifully.) 

 

__________________

Live and Learn. Learn and Live Better! is my motto. I'm Mardy Ross, and I founded Lumigrate in 2008 after a career as an occupational therapist with a background in health education and environmental research program administration. Today I function as the desk clerk for short questions people have, as well as 'concierge' services offered for those who want a thorough exploration of their health history and direction to resources likely to progress their health according to their goals. Contact Us comes to me, so please do if you have questions or comments. Lumigrate is "Lighting the Path to Health and Well-Being" for increasing numbers of people. Follow us on social networking sites such as: Twitter: http://twitter.com/lumigrate and Facebook. (There is my personal page and several Lumigrate pages. For those interested in "groovy" local education and networking for those uniquely talented LumiGRATE experts located in my own back yard, "LumiGRATE Groove of the Grand Valley" is a Facebook page to join. (Many who have joined are beyond our area but like to see the Groovy information! We not only have FUN, we are learning about other providers we can be referring patients to and 'wearing a groove' to each other's doors -- or websites/home offices!) By covering some of the things we do, including case examples, it reinforces the concepts at Lumigrate.com as well as making YOU feel that you're part of a community. Which you ARE at Lumigrate!

This forum is provided to allow members of Lumigrate to share information and ideas. Any recommendations made by forum members regarding medical treatments, medications, or procedures are not endorsed by Lumigrate or practitioners who serve as Lumigrate's medical experts.

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